Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
