it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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