holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
