Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
