Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
