I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
