i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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