Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
