Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
