I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
