I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
