I heard we made out
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
