so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
