Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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