I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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