I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
