I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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