he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
