maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
