I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
