i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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