WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
