your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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