That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
