So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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