Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
