Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
