I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
