You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
