The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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