hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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