I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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