Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
