Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
