ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
