that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
