you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
