Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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