Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
pray to the hookup gods
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
