The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
