A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
