we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dignity is for republicans.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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