There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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