i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
