she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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