I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
