Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
