on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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