And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
