dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
