So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
