At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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